Capture

You have persevered and have endured hardships for my Name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Revelation 2:3-4

Before the daily storms roll in, I’ve been enjoying the morning sun on the shorelines. God sometimes speaks through the seas, He sometimes speaks through the skies, but this morning, He spoke through a dog (a talking donkey definitely would have been a bit much before my morning coffee kicked in, Numbers 22:28).

The dog’s master threw the Frisbee around the beach for a few minutes. The dog faithfully retrieved it and returned it to his feet. Then the master threw out an even greater challenge that required greater sight and stronger endurance: he threw the Frisbee into the ocean.

With a bit of hesitation, the dog did what he was designed to do: he went after the prize, with waves crashing in his face and no sand to stand on. He started out wandering away from the goal. This was obviously something he had not done before. His master called his name and pointed in the direction of the goal. He followed his master’s lead and headed towards the floating Frisbee. He got right up to it, sniffed it, then turned and swam back to shore without retrieving it.

WHAT? This was it – this was what he was after, what he struggled to capture, the fulfillment of his design, and he strives to retreat! The master pointed to the goal again and again and called for the dog to live up to his name – retriever! Once again, the dog obeyed and returned to the Frisbee. He refused it for a few more minutes, while treading only inches away. Finally, he gripped it and returned to shore with the satisfaction of fulfilling his purpose. From then on, the dog faithfully retrieved the prize. After the first taste, he knew to return for more.

I thought of how we were made to worship. It is our calling and our choice. We will always venture out to satisfy something, it's our design to desire. We are called by our Master to find the ultimate satisfaction – often without seeing our goal and exerting our strength. At first we wander away, but He continues to call our name; guiding us to our purposed destination – the worship of our Creator. Finally we get right up to His Face, but then strive to retreat. It truly does not make any sense, but there we are – empty hearted, treading water, and running away.

Once we finally capture our heart's desire and worship God, we know to return to Him every time, no matter the lack of sight or strength, according to His call. We just have to take hold, taste Him, and turn hearts to Him every time He calls our name.

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Forecast Faithfulness

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23

Before every Pixar film is a “short” film which is often very moving. The “short” before the film UP is called “Partly Cloudy.” I didn’t expect this one to be such a mirror of my own heart.

Basically in this story, storks deliver every baby every born, human and animals alike: the babies are formed by the clouds and each cloud has its own delivery stork. The story zooms in on a special pair, Peck the stork and Gus the cloud. Gus’s babies are the rather dangerous, but necessary: alligators, porcupines, rams, sharks and electric eels. Peck faithfully, and painfully, delivers as his job requires – getting rather beat up, bitten up, or bushed up in the process. He longingly looks over at the other storks’ deliveries of puppies and kittens, understandably so. Yet he remains through the pain to fulfill his purpose. At one point it looks as though he has abandoned his friend Gus for a more comfortable position (and Gus does not respond well to this rejection). But not so – he was simply looking to guard himself against the pains of his purpose. He carries on, guarded and guaranteed, in faithful service to his call.

Days are not always puppies and kittens. It seems that some days are a never ending stream of being beat up, bitten up or bushed up in some way or another. For me, this struggle is more internal than external, which is much harder to explain to people. External struggles are images and stories that people can see; internal struggles are emotions and storms that are personally felt. I look longingly at others that seem to enjoy their life's purposes a lot more, wondering why I am called to get beat up day after day – or so it feels. It's not reality, but some days, it's just how it feels. I compare alternatives and consider abandoning my call all together, at least for a little break (and my Creator does not respond well to my rejection). But I return to my love and trust of His call for me. The outcome of my faithfulness is always far greater than I can ever see. I may return with my heart guarded, for it is my very life, but I return to serve. Always for the pleasure of the Creator and purpose of the call.

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Beggar Blessed

Luke 11:3 Give us each day our daily bread.

"Like a beggar blessed, I stumble in the Grace, reaching out my hand for what's always." - Margaret Becker, Clay & Water


A recent encounter with a beggar stayed in my mind all week. This time, I wasn't pondering poverty or provision (though Jesus spoke on these more than any other subject), but wondering about asking. I thought of how much I am blessed by God, the incredible access that I have to the amazing favor of God, but there is an ocean of need in my life that I don't bring to Him. My life is filled with details desperate for His Presence, yet my prayer stays silent to the Provider of All. Do I not see Him?

My perspective, resulting in either loud cries of praising or wailing, often changes with my circumstances (I praise Him in all things, but I desperately, constantly seek Him when life turns downward - oh, how much I have in common with the ancient Israelite!). Thanksgiving and petition. He is my breath and my heartbeat, how could I not be "desperate for You" in constant worship of Who He is? Not His blessings, Him.

The man asked me for money because I had cash in my hand from a returned purchase (cash is rare with me - I debit EVERYTHING). He watched and knew that I could provide exactly what he wanted. We KNOW that God can provide for us. I have heard a couple of atheists say, "If I prayed, I'd ask for this...hint, hint (could you pray for my desperate situation)" Yet, we ask not or ask amiss (James 4;3). Please indulge a few thoughts from Oswald Chambers:

1.Everyone who asks receives . . . —Luke 11:10
Ask if you have not received. There is nothing more difficult than asking. We will have yearnings and desires for certain things, and even suffer as a result of their going unfulfilled, but not until we are at the limit of desperation will we ask. It is the sense of not being spiritually real that causes us to ask. Have you ever asked out of the depths of your total insufficiency and poverty? "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God . . . " ( James 1:5 ), but be sure that you do lack wisdom before you ask. You cannot bring yourself to the point of spiritual reality anytime you choose. The best thing to do, once you realize you are not spiritually real, is to ask God for the Holy Spirit, basing your request on the promise of Jesus Christ (see Luke 11:13 ). The Holy Spirit is the one who makes everything that Jesus did for you real in your life.

"Everyone who asks receives . . . ." This does not mean that you will not get if you do not ask, but it means that until you come to the point of asking, you will not receive from God (see Matthew 5:45 ). To be able to receive means that you have to come into the relationship of a child of God, and then you comprehend and appreciate mentally, morally, and with spiritual understanding, that these things come from God.

"If any of you lacks wisdom . . . ." If you realize that you are lacking, it is because you have come in contact with spiritual reality— do not put the blinders of reason on again. The word ask actually means "beg." Some people are poor enough to be interested in their poverty, and some of us are poor enough spiritually to show our interest. Yet we will never receive if we ask with a certain result in mind, because we are asking out of our lust, not out of our poverty. A pauper does not ask out of any reason other than the completely hopeless and painful condition of his poverty. He is not ashamed to beg— blessed are the paupers in spirit (see Matthew 5:3 ). - My Utmost for His Highest

2. "Ask, and you will receive . . ." - John 16:24
When a person is born again from above, the life of the Son of God is born in him, and he can either starve or nourish that life. Prayer is the way that the life of God in us is nourished. We look upon prayer simply as a means of getting things for ourselves, but the biblical purpose of prayer is that we may get to know God Himself.

We complain before God, and sometimes we are apologetic or indifferent to Him, but we actually ask Him for very few things. Yet a child exhibits a magnificent boldness to ask! Our Lord said, ". . . unless you . . . become as little children . . ." ( Matthew 18:3 ). Ask and God will do. Give Jesus Christ the opportunity and the room to work. The problem is that no one will ever do this until he is at his wits’ end. When a person is at his wits’ end, it no longer seems to be a cowardly thing to pray; in fact, it is the only way he can get in touch with the truth and the reality of God Himself. Be yourself before God and present Him with your problems— the very things that have brought you to your wits’ end. But as long as you think you are self-sufficient, you do not need to ask God for anything.

To say that "prayer changes things" is not as close to the truth as saying, "Prayer changes me and then I change things." God has established things so that prayer, on the basis of redemption, changes the way a person looks at things. Prayer is not a matter of changing things externally, but one of working miracles in a person’s inner nature. - My Utmost for His Highest

The beggar lied about who he was and his situation in life, all in desperation for a little momentary monetary ease. I was reminded that as God's child, I may try to hide (more by silence than false confession). Of course, I can never hide any part of me and the only one that I hurt is myself by not engaging in an intimate and vulnerable relationship with the true love of life. Eternal satisfaction only comes in living out of the anointing of His favor - not for who I am, but for Who He is and Who has chosen me. I know this, but yet I continue to hide my life away on a moment by moment basis. Why fear favor?

"When you do get through to abandonment to God, you will be the most surprised and delighted creature on earth; God has got you absolutely and has given you your life." - Oswald Chambers

Find me at the feet of Jesus - reaching for His scars that saved me. Find me as a servant, bowed to my King. Filled in His love, satisfied in His Grace, yet in desperate need of His Presence and Embrace. Perspective of passion - to live the life anointed by God - first for me and Him in our relationship, then for His love, glory and truth to flow through me to others - however small or grand, personal or fleeting - those encounters may be. Abide in Him.

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Holy Cow

Exodus 20:3-6"You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth. You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments...."

In his book Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller imagines a conversation that a cow bowing Israelite might have had with a raging mad Moses after he had come down from the mountain: "Calm down, Mosey. You always go up and talk to God and come back with a sunburn. You have a God to hover around your tent in a cloud, you have a God to turn your staff into a snake, and we get nothing. Nothing! It's not like we have this personal communication going with God. We need a god to worship. We need a god to touch and feel and interact with in a very personal way. So I made a cow. You can also wear it as a necklace" (p92).

God designed us to worship: without the "personal communication going with God," or worship, we will naturally worship something; it is a desire that never runs void. In a desperate attempt to turn the unseen into the seen, or the Holy into the held, a cow was crafted (interesting choice). Idols are simply something seen and tangible, when the unseen seems tangled (money when we can't see provision, person when we can't see love, etc.). Understandable, right? At the time, the Most Holy God presented Himself to His people visually, such as appearing in a cloud or fire, but that still was not enough...why? All the more today, God is manifested through His people by their love (when serving others, it's harder to selfishly seek out an idol to fulfill us, unless service itself becomes the idol). But yet, we still turn from God...why?

Because we naturally worship from our sight, not our spirit. John 4:23-24 "Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."

The most dangerous, as always, is the most subtle. What develops from my desires to turn my insecurities into idols? Deuteronomy 11:16 states that it's not the lie of the eye, but the delusion of my desire: “But be careful. Don’t let your heart be deceived so that you turn away from the Lord and serve and worship other gods." Satan is beautiful and uses beauty to tempt, but he knows that the heart is the seat of all desires. It was Satan's first and most successful lie (Genesis 3 - first to kill with deception, then to destroy with deluded desire) and still is today. No wonder forbidding idols is the first two of God's ten commands (Exodus 20), and is the object of God's most violent wrath (Exodus 32:9).

The Message translation of Isaiah 44:20 notes idolatry as insanity: This lover of emptiness, of nothing, is so out of touch with reality, so far gone, that he can't even look at what he's doing, can't even look at the no-god stick of wood in his hand and say, "This is crazy."

It is completely insane. Why forsake the God Who creates all, provides all, satisfies all, enriches all, sustains all, and loves all for an eternal gamble on a temporary fix? Because we trust in our own understanding and deceiving heart. Because we trust the lie that "seeing is believing" instead of trusting His Truth that "believing is seeing." Believe Him; See Him.

The same pattern is repeated hundreds of times throughout history: tear down idols, consecrate the temples, worship God alone. Blessings if you do, curses if you don't - the greatest blessing is His Presence (Heaven); the greatest curse is His absence (Hell). All the "gifts on earth" are not worth anything without His Presence (Exodus 33:15, Phil 3:8).

Only the sensitivity to His Spirit can reveal the idols that tear me from being pressed against His heart. Jesus asks me, "What do you want?" - not so that He knows, but so that I know. I desire to answer completely and honestly, "I want YOU, I want YOU!" - but I my attentions and affections may reveal otherwise. May my idols be crushed at the cross of Jesus and my worship be favored at the foot of His Throne. Praise to the One who testifies to the Truth!

As a Kingdom of God living as citizens in Babylon, we are strikingly similar to the Israelites. Does their past not sound like our present? Babylon, as a whole, seems to be falling all around us; even on top of our heads. It rains on the just and the unjust (Matthew 5:45), and no one is exempt from suffering. We cannot control the downpour, but we can connect to the Deliverer. He calls for us as a people, as His children, as His Beloved, as His nation - to humble ourselves before Him, tear down any idols in our lives, turn to Him and trust Him, praise Him and worship Him alone. Lean not on the created, but listen to the Creator. Seek Him. Believe Him. Love Him. Obey Him. Worship Him. Reverse our curse, Praise His Name.

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Have Mercy

Esther 7:3 Then Queen Esther answered, "If I have found favor with you, O king, and if it pleases your majesty, grant me my life—this is my petition."

Tithing the Tongue
“If I have found favor with you, O King...this is my petition.” Esther's first words were directly to her husband and respectful of her king. She knows to touch the scepter before speaking the tongue.

Like Esther, My King and my Husband tells me that my request will be given (John 14:13, Matt. 6:33). His Spirit tells me to seek His Favor and speak His Name first and forever in my prayer. Respect before Request. Praise before Petition. Hallowed be Your Name, O King.

Expose my Enemy
Esther 7:6a Esther said, "The adversary and enemy is this vile Haman." Esther calls out the one to be expelled. The enemy must be exposed to be extinguished. Silence softens the blow but tightens the cords of deception, especially in the denying the details. Complete confession is not condemnation, it is essential communication. Do not deny the dark and do not deny the Light – confess them both and call them all out loud - condemning the viper and praising the Victor constantly before the King Jesus.

Two as One
Esther 7:6b Then Haman was terrified before the king and queen. From idolized to unified, the terrorist becomes terrified. Beth Moore notes the intimacy of the unity of the king and queen: “two people sharing life as one." In John 14:20 Jesus said, “On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you” The cross of Christ was so that He and I could share life as one – in perfect intimacy. Though I am in Covenant union with Him, I must constantly choose devotion to Him; both for my intimacy and victory.

Falling for Mercy
Esther 7:7b "Haman was found on the queen's couch begging for mercy" and sealing his death - all in the same moment. Decisions in the dark deepen the dagger in the heart.

Isaiah 6 brings us to another man's falling before Royalty: a prophet before God on the throne. This servant of God (completely opposite to Haman) still calls out his conviction in the Presence of the King. Isaiah's confession brings mercy; not for his status, but for the lamb's sacrifice.

Fallen before His Throne, His Mercy Seat, I am never misunderstood or met with rage, but fully known and welcomed. I deserve to be hung on the gallows that I built with beams of pride, jealousy, deception, greed, anger and unbelief. My confession is this: that the Perfect King Himself has been crucified in my place on the gallows built for me. Mercy is received; only because of the Lamb's sacrifice.

If I have found favor with You, my King, and if it pleases Your Majesty, grant me my life - this is my petition. This is my cry, fallen on the lap of love.

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Reading Road Signs

Esther 6:11 So Haman got the robe and the horse. He robed Mordecai, and led him on horseback through the city streets, proclaiming before him, "This is what is done for the man the king delights to honor!"

He read right.
In Esther 6 and Luke 4, it is pointed out the two kings were found to be reading (or read to), literally, the story of their lives. After the reading, both men made proclamations to be fulfilled according to their reading - King Xerxes to have a man honored, King Jesus to have Prophecy fulfilled. Proclamations following these revelations were central in "setting captives free." This catalyst of chronicles in the lives of both kings was immediately preceded by days of intense sacrifice and submission to God: the Jewish people fasted and prayed for 3 days; Jesus fasted and prayed for 40 days. Fasting, Prayer, Word, Deliverance. A model for deliverance in me.

He read wrong.
Esther 6:6 When Haman entered, the king asked him, "What should be done for the man the king delights to honor?" Now Haman thought to himself, "Who is there that the king would rather honor than me?" We quickly condemn Haman's haughtiness of his own honor. I am more convicted by his haunting in my own mirror. Haman's conclusions of his world led to the presumption his words - immediately to be eaten in the presence of his enemy. Look at it from his perch on the pedestal. He was correct in his facts: there was no one above him and he had no reason to believe that anyone else would be honored besides him. Had we not had the complete story, we might have been blindsided as well. Oh, how this illustrates my life far too many times. Proverbs 3:5-6 says to trust the LORD with all of our heart and lean not on our understanding. Do I trust my heart or mind? I take the facts of life and expect the most logical outcome: "I have a great resume, I will get a great job; I am favored by my boss, I will get a raise; Kids definitely love me, I will certainly have my own; I have a great personality, I will never feel alone...etc., etc." I, I, I....all based on what I see (which is fact), not WHO I serve (which is Reality). Who do I love, Who do I honor, Whose words do I speak and Whose heart do I reflect?? These are crucial questions of momentary reality more than abstract theology. Especially when the moment is white hot.

They read rescue.
The "signs of salvation" - Riders Mordecai and Jesus.

Insert Luke 22:7 When they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks over it, he sat on it.

Deliverance was on their minds.
In both cases, Passover was near. Either the Jewish people had just observed (Esther 3:12) or were about to observe (Luke 22) their highest day of remembering their deliverance by God's hand. In both cases, this was a day desperate for deliverance.

Salvation was in their cry.
One going from ridicule and sackcloth to the king's praise and finery:
Esther 6:11 "This is what is done for the man the king delights to honor!"

One going from praise and honor to ridicule and stripes:
Mark 11: 9 Those who went ahead and those who followed shouted, "Hosanna!" "Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!" 10"Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David!" "Hosanna in the highest!"

In both cases, the Jewish people certainly saw one person: their knight in shining armour; their king in salvation's announcement. THIS IS THE ONE who the KING delights in (as the Father has spoken of His delight over is Son). "Hosanna" - literally translated from the Greek: The , means "Save us, we beseech thee." One Dictionary translation is: hosanna interj. hallelujah! (used to express praise and adoration to God); deliver!, save me! (request for God's deliverance) n. shout of praise to God, appeal to God for deliverance.

Royalty was in their sights.
Both men went from riding in the streets, to the king's side (Esther 9:4, Hebrews 12:2) - all because they obeyed God, honored God, loved God, worshiped God; all under looming death. Mordecai rode the king's steed. Jesus will ride His own steed into Jerusalem again as King of Kings and LORD of Lords - no one ever before or after Him.

Who is your true knight, your true king, your true savior? Who do you see and believe? Who do you praise and honor? Who do you trust and love? Who are you reading now?

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Heavenly Days

Every moment shapes my life one way or another. God is the Designer; I am the builder. Either I read His Plans and listen to His Purpose, or by default, my life will take shape according to my own faults and flaws. As we breathe, each moment is desired by God to build palaces to live in, not pyramids to leave behind.

I keep hearing, again and again and again, of very extreme living conditions. Health failing in ourselves or those closest to us. Finances failing and collapsing all around us. Relationships on the rocks, to put it mildly. These aren't headlines, these are everyday lives of very dear friends. This is their everyday, every moment reality. Yet in those very storms of life, I hear of God moving in the most meaningful ways - not just placing money in an account or having a spouse's temper simply cease, but His moving in the intimate moments in between lightening strikes and hail pelting; His moving heaven in the heart while we breathe the air of earth.

We may not feel extraordinary in a life that pounds us into a shape, but how we feel never change who we are. The darker the night, the more obvious the light. Mindset constant in mood changes; perspective of present circumstances. Our days may seem out of control, but not our God. He is the One who makes our lives EXTRAORDINARY; not just WHEN we see Him or experience Him, but constantly, as we are His Royalty. A queen visiting a village in disguise never changes her person when her surroundings and appearance change. Our destiny remains, we simply choose to participate in our amazing lives to the fullest, or to allow our shifting worlds to shape who we are. We are extraordinary people living in trying times with one choice - to remain in Him or remove from Him; therefore, to have a heavenly perspective on our earthly moments.

Do not be disillusioned, but see today for what it really is: maybe average, awesome, or atrocious. But also do not be deceived and see God for Who He Is: He is the amazing Author of Life and LIVES as an all surpassing power in this clay jar (2 Cor. 4:7)

"Christ Jesus came to make you more than just fine. You were not called to just feel average, be average, and do average. It is to your Father's glory that you bear much fruit showing yourself to be Christ 's disciple. It is huge! All-surpassing power!

Because Christ is meant to be our delight, our joy of living. He is the bridegroom for crying out loud. He is the dance of life. He is saying, there are moments -- there are moments when it is understandable that you're fine but I've got more for you than that. I want you to delight yourself in Me." - Beth Moore

A review on Brennan Manning's powerful book, Abbas Child, paraphrases "the moments" of our lives as this:

Once we experience this present risenness of Christ we become convinced that life is not, and cannot be, meaningless. A keen insight is seeing that Christ is risen and present now in our lives. Not just an event in the past, or a glorious future occurrence (the second coming). This is crucial, because it changes how we view our savior. “Here and now” is more powerful and more relevant to our daily living. Or, as the author put it, “faith in the present risenness of Jesus carries with it life-changing implications for the gritty routine of daily life”. For in seeing Jesus resurrected and alive in our lives, even this very day, reminds us that God is truly with us.

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Captive Audience

2 Timothy 2:24-26 And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he

must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response sometimes seen in abducted hostages, in which the hostage shows signs of loyalty to the hostage-taker, regardless of the danger or risk in which they have been placed.

Do you know any "happy captives?" Anyone is not under the freedom of Christ's Redemption is a captive, according to 2 Tim 2:26. Often they seem to be ignorant and/or quite happy with their captivity ("The greatest trick the devil ever pulled with convincing the world that he didn't exist"-The Usual Suspects) They are basically under "spiritual stockholm syndrome" and not only are they happy with their captivity, they will adamantly defend it.

I met one of those people last week via an online blog session. In short, he called me and any other believer ignorant, insane, and mentally ill for believing that the Bible is the actual Word of God. In one instance, he accused Christians of "cherrypicking the Bible," but only wanted to focus on selected passages in his discussions. In other words, he presented a huge double standard, by demanding that people get out of their "narrow-minded box" while at the same time absolutely refusing to look at Scripture in a COMPLETE context. As I repeated that there is more to God than a few chosen lines of Scripture, this man repeated his mantra that he did not believe Scripture as the Word of God. I was saddened by this man's anger towards Scripture and tightening bonds of his captivity. His choice to stay in bondage fueled by Scripture screamed at him in anger and not in love. He sees God as a threat instead of the Truth.

We all fall short and Scripture applies in conviction and salvation to every heart. Transformation for each one comes in the Presence of Truth alone. If there is no Truth, there is no Transformation. While we live here in Babylon, we who are a chosen priesthood are to know the Word and speak the Word so that the Savior Himself may lead them home to His city.

The one thing that this man mocked, but did not argue with, was this proclamation from another sister of ours: "The truth is that Yeshua is the Messiah and EVERY TONGUE WILL CONFESS AND EVERY KNEE WILL BOW. When you take your last breath and you face eternity ........you will KNOW that what Yeshua did on that cross is the only atonement for our sin. He IS our only hope. He IS worthy of all praise. Hallelujah! Glory to the Lamb of Yahweh forever and ever!"

I was once again convicted by this simple truth of victory and freedom: Praise of the LORD shuts the mouth of the enemy. Humbled and abandoned before Him, He is the Author and Advocate of His Truth and Love the Revelation of Truth in and through me.

Psalm 63

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

A Tale of Two Tables

Esther 3:13 "Letters were sent by couriers to all the king's provinces to destroy, to kill and to annihilate all the Jews, both young and old, women and children, in one day, the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, which is the month Adar..."

As I read more and more of the hatred and intolerance toward the Jewish people in the Persian empire, I realize that we cannot even fathom such an anger and atrocity - not even by today's terrorists or torturers. By the way, the name "Hamas" - the present day terrorists that vow to wipe the nation of Israel off the face of the map - did continue to come to mind again and again while reading of the hatred of Haman, a man with power to charge death upon a people as he pleased. Sounded far too familiar to the reality of Jews in Israel today. (The word "hamas" in Hebrew means "violent men"; but the name Hamas in this case is Arabic for "zeal").

The Hebrew words used in Psalm 140 for Violent Men is Hamasim. When one looks up Violence in the R. Alcalay Complete Hebrew English Dictionary the Hebrew words Alimut, Paraetz, and Hamas are found. When looking from the Hebrew to the English the words translate as follows: Alimut - Violence, Terror, Terrorism Paraetz - breach, Gap, Trouble Hamas - to frighten, terrify, confound, stun, confuse, perplex (Esther 3:15, "the city of Susa was in confusion") All of these definitions are from modern Hebrew. http://www.standingstrong.org/index_files/StandingStrongHamas.htm

Even this terrorist group of Hamas (or another terrorist group, Hizballah) in control of a government does not possess the power to simply choose one day to wipe out a people in a single swipe. Even Hitler took years. There is no comparison for such anger, power, and sick disregard for any human life than in this day the ring was pressed to seal the fate of thousands. A plan, a parchment, a seal and a drink and the deal was done.

Date of Passover Celebration: Exodus 12:2:This month shall be the beginning of months for you; it is to be the first month of the year to you. Exodus 12:6-7, 13: 6'You shall keep it until the fourteenth day of the same month, then the whole assembly of the congregation of Israel is to kill it at twilight. 7Moreover, they shall take some of the blood and put it on the two doorposts and on the lintel of the houses in which they eat it. 13The blood shall be a sign for you on the houses where you live; and when I see the blood I will pass over you, and no plague will befall you to destroy you when I strike the land of Egypt.

Date of Annihilation Announcement in Persia: Esther 3:12, 15 12Then on the thirteenth day of the first month the royal secretaries were summoned. 15The couriers went out impelled by the king's command while the decree was issued at the citadel in Susa; and while the king and Haman sat down to drink, the city of Susa was in confusion.

No crime, no conviction, no conversation. No exit, no excuses, only execution - with celebration at that. This Passover was spent remembering and reciting the past when death passed over their doors at the same exact moment that death came knocking. Wine poured in celebration - one in clay cups, the other in gold goblets. The Royalty celebrating mass death; the Chosen celebrating mass deliverance. All in the exact same hour. The past and the future colliding into a very tumultuous present.

Suffice to say, we know people, if not ourselves, at this very moment who are very familiar with getting the news and waiting for the worst. All while praising God every step of the way. I wondered how a night of praise and prayer suddenly shifts into a whole new realm of reality when our circumstances so drastically change. Do we praise Him more? Less? Same? With more passion and fervor or with depression and fear? Do we sing of deliverance of the past, but deny the power of the present?

"When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near." Luke 21:28

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Taste and See

Book of Esther

For such a time, the palace is mine; the Husband-King, revealed to me. (mlp) Esther is as much present as past, for God works eternally and intimately in our nations and in our hearts. This book is famous for not mentioning the name of my Dad, the King over all of the Universe. I wonder how much of my life is the same...telling His story but not mentioning His Name. Will my everyday story shout of His glory as much as my whispers of His Name? When the time (or an "opportune moment"), comes may the revelation of His Name be received with favor as I have honored Him in love to His created ones?

God Himself is both Author and Narrator of this tale. His throne room is beautiful, powerful, and desirable. I enjoy the warm comfort of His Robes as He wraps me in His Light and reminds me of His moving in days of old and moments of now. This moment is of hope and beauty, rising within me to really live the life voiced by the Great I AM. He shows me the home of the humbled and orphaned Jew and the grandeur of the king's throne room. I hear the roar of the people and the whispers of the nobles. I smell the aromas the villagers and the sweetness of the king's gardens. I feel the sackcloth irritating and the silk soothing my skin. I taste the fullness of a banquet's best and the emptiness of a fasting's cry.

This tale of truth and deliverance begins with an attempt to describe the indescribable: the overwhelming splendor of a kingdom (true Home). The scene soon shifts down the road to my house in the "outskirts" of Persian power (temporary home), but for now, I soak in the story of stunning sights and sounds of feasting at the King's table of our Inheritance.

This day, the majestic moments are in the mundane. Some days I feel Him and some days I move unaware of the splendor that sings over us passionately in perfect love. This moment, I enjoy the Splendor of His Word Breathed over me.

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Garden Child

Genesis 3

“Their eyes were opened” Nothing physically changed them, disobedience spiritually changed them. Sin is not about physical, it is about spiritual being manifested into physical. Sin moves through our humanity to tear our holiness. Sin's first and powerful consequence changes our status and sight; from intimacy to shame. Sin is death to Life.

In the same way, Salvation does not physically change us, it spiritually changes us. It manifest from spiritual to physical in our everyday lives. It doesn’t change how we are as natural humans, it changes how are as “holy humans.” Salvation's first and greatest result is sight altering – God can see us in light and love, and for the first time, we can see ourselves in light and love - from shame in death to intimacy in life. Salvation is Life from death.

In Salvation, our eyes are not closed to our sinful ways, our eyes are opened to our saving grace. Sin is completely destroyed and we are very aware of the snake’s taunts to alter our view of our lives (“did God really say….”). Responses to taunts are not always correct (“…and you must not touch” was not in God’s instructions) and therefore leave more room for a foothold and stronghold to be established. Simply, we must know His Word to obey His Word and to answer for His Word when questioned. False or varying interpretation is not an excuse, it is an entrance to deception. We never lose our salvation once it’s received, we lose our sight of salvation under the guise of circumstance and selfish ambition.

Choice. Shame. Blame. Consequence.

Sin did not cause physical death, however, a consequence of sin was God's image-bearer being prohibited to eternal physical life. Man was created as an eternal being, but not given eternal physical life at his creation. He was given the choice, apparently, with the tree of life. That choice was removed when he choose to eat of the “other tree” instead. Clear instructions were given: “you may eat of life, not of knowledge.” One or the other. The test is not of “knowledge or ignorance” and being denied full use of our minds, but of obedience. “Choose first the kingdom of God (life) and all these things shall be added,” the Creator said. "Any man who lacks wisdom, ask for it" James notes of God.

I note the gardens of choices – the first Garden where man chose disobedience and the second where Christ chose ultimate obedience. At the entrance of the Eden garden, an angel was placed to guard against eternal physical life; at the entrance of the Tomb garden, an angel was placed welcoming us to eternal resurrected life!

I've recently heard other insights. Thorns and thistles were produced as a result of the Fall. Thorns and thistles were covered in the Creator’s blood to redeem us from that very curse. The first act of God following His conversation with His children was a blood sacrifice to cover their shame (consequence of sin). Jesus despised his shame, hanging naked on a cross, became the final sacrifice to cover us all.

We were redeemed at the highest price to live in the Garden with God. "Where are you?" the Creator asks. We are fully clothed in light itself while deceived to believe that we are shamed in hiding. Ask for wisdom to see every moment as you really are - free from deception of sin and living in the Presence and intimate communion with the Creator of all that was, is and every will be. Where are you?

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Nothing to Fear

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18


Long ramblings continue on...

Not Real:
‘Tis the season. Horror films. Headless Horseman. Haunted Houses. All filled with every gruesome fear imaginable for one purpose – to heighten and surface absolute terror and fear. FOR THOSE WHO ARE INTO IT (that would not be me), it's all for “fun” and pure “entertainment” as long as it happens to someone else. Tell, not touch. It’s staged. It’s safe. It’s secure. It’s all timed for a split second to make us think that it’s not safe and secure, thus the rush, but somewhere deep within, we know it’s all an act so we’re ok. We chose to feel this way. In fact, we paid money to feel this way. We can’t understand it or explain it, we just like it and are drawn to the rush. For one night, or a couple of hours, we can heighten the fear, then turn back to our “real lives” and think “better them than me."

Real:
Then, it REALLY happens to you. Your worst nightmare not only comes true – it’s nothing like the movies and it doesn’t end when you walk out. There is no walking out. No door. No window. No end. Nothing ever compares to our own nightmares playing again and again and again.

Home loss, job loss, parent loss, child loss, spouse loss, health loss, sanity loss, divorce, bankruptcy, disease, abuse, abandonment, rejection, death, depression, or any other personal torture of body, heart, spirit or mind…or at the very least, fear of any one of these becoming a reality in our lives. We keep telling ourselves "credits roll, this too shall pass, etc." but it never ends. It is complete torture and you'd almost rather be one of those horror victims just to escape your living nightmare. If you don’t live it in the day, you dream about it in the night. No one escapes fear at any point – it’s part of the human condition that we both run from and run into, are repulsed by and drawn to. The thoughts may depress, the reality may destroy.

Fear Freedom:
Fear is very, very real, I don’t contend otherwise. What I do contend is that we’re often looking at it from the wrong perspective – again from man’s view (results) instead of God’s view (conquered). Famously, Roosevelt said that we have nothing to fear but fear itself. I don’t think we even have fear itself to fear – because it’s not just mental (we more fear what we can't understand or control, which includes the supernatural side of life), it’s spiritual – when did we forget that? Oh, the lie we have been fed and swallow whole – that our God is not greater! We KNOW in our head that He is, but don't completely abandon to the TRUTH that He is greater. Fear tactics are only a vehicle to get our sights off of faith and into flight – to run FROM the dark, instead of run INTO the Light. Fight the good fight instead – but only in the Holy Spirit: the ONLY one who can conquer all fears of all people at all times.

I went from watching a Program on Horror to the Psalms of Honor. Literally, 2 minutes later I was listening to the Psalms. David spoke of both his fears, then almost immediately of his praise. Again and again and again, back and forth: it was a constant reckoning of humanity to Holiness, spoken in truth. This is it - spoken prayer of praise is the conquering weapon against fear! WHAT IS THE FEAR THAT YOU HAVE BEEN FREED FROM: either has happened, is happening or you fear will happen? IF YOU HAVE FREEDOM, YOU HAVE A CONSTANT REMINDER OF YOUR WEAPON OF PRAISE - not comdemnation of nightmare, praise!

I also found it interesting that a number of these “houses of horror” seemed to focus in three things (not exclusively, but generally): complete loss of control (vulnerability), torture and death. I think that the cross was carefully chosen to be a way of taking on every possible fear known to man, absorbing it into the Son of Man in the most tortuous death process in the history of man, and conquering it completely in man for all Eternity – all at the exact same time in this Sacrifice of God’s Son. Believing that the Cross did exactly as God said that it did will never mean that we will never again know fear in our lives, for again, it’s a human condition and emotion. But a relationship with Jesus though the way of His Cross – gives us somewhere to claim VICTORY over our fears when they do arise. Fear is the vehicle for separation; Jesus is the victory through restoration. Holiness became horror to bring us from horror to Holiness. Life to death to Life. Truth remains Truth regardless; Truth is only known and lived in us when we believe.

On this week when we’d rather ignore fear or condemn fear – why not fight fire with Fire? Perfect love drives out all fear. Praise shuts the mouth of the enemy (the fire of fear that spreads and abounds). Instead of running from one fear right into another one, why not bring it right back into the face of the father of lies and LIVING PROOF of VICTORY over the fear. Use the opportunities that come up to PRAISE the God who IS perfect love and the Savior Who drives us to “be not afraid.” This is not a week to “fear” in anyway – not any part of it. This is a week to PRAISE and let God be God over all. The only way to “be not afraid” is to “be abandoned” to Him. All of me to all of Him in all ways and at all times; nothing out of His Sovereignty, Love, and Truth.

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com