Via Distraction

Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil. Proverbs 4:27

If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. Luke 9:23

In Jerusalem, Israel the Via Dolorosa is the “Way of Suffering.” It is a crowded, uphill pathway that Jesus is said to have walked from His place of trial to His place of crucifixion. In 2,000 years, some things have not changed. Crowds still line the noisy path. But today, instead of angry mockers, they are vying vendors.

I kept looking around thinking, "This is my life. Everyday I walk the sacred steps of Jesus and everyday my steps are pulled with constant distraction."

Deny the Distractions.
If you walk this sacred road, you are a target. Distractions are everywhere from beginning to end, left and right. So much temptation surrounds us to "scan, shop, socialize," etc. The issue was not to deny shopping, it was to deny distraction. Denial of self is not suffering, it is salvation.

As with my life's journey: the place is the venue, the purpose is the value. The first focus is Jesus, the following focus is people. The first focus is my freedom, the following focus is their freedom. Often all in the same moment.

Take up my Cross.
"Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies." 2 Corinthians 4:10 Every day I am called to take up my cross – in confession and conviction, never condemnation. Sin's suffering is a cross that I already carry in me through the sacrifice of Jesus. His cross drags through my daily moments and encounters.

Whatever our day may bring, whether or not there's suffering, we all carry the cross inside and we all face the pulls of life.

Follow Me.
As we walked, we had to keep our heads down and our ears in tune to our guide’s voice. Exactly like following in His steps today: keep humbled, hear His voice, walk as He guides.

Every day is a Path. Every turn is a distraction. Every step is a choice: Daily desire, denial, and deliverance. Until stone turns to gold, Blood flows as I follow.

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Beauty of Bubbles

It is not service that matters, but intense spiritual reality, expecting Jesus Christ at every turn. This will give our life the attitude of child-wonder which He wants it to have. -Oswald Chambers

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1

My nephew Mason worked so hard at getting the bubbles just right, that he never looked up to enjoy them! “Mason, look up,” we’d say, but to no avail. He was busy. That is me as God’s child; I am so busy “producing beauty” for others to enjoy, but miss the entire reason God brought me to that moment: to enjoy Him.

“She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.” Luke 10:39-40a

Just as Mason needed to bring the bubbles and as Martha needed to bring the bread, I am needed to "bring the beauty." But, just as Mason needed to soak in the joy and Mary chose to soak in her Savior, I am needed to "be still and know that He is God." Otherwise, what a moment lost on my heart's distraction!

We are either preparing for or practicing in His Presence! What loss is mine when I never look up to receive my Redeemer; what joy is mine when my lamp’s oil blazes with His brilliant Light! (Matthew 25:4,6,13)

Is this moment in preparation or in celebration? Still and soak in the wonder, dear child.

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Love Note

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4:6

I checked on my texts account today and found that I was way over my limit. I called ATT to assess the damages. What I heard was the divine.

I explained to the service rep that I had a lot of email texts from Sunday and was wondering how much it was going to cost me. In her distinct Virginia accent, she said, “Let me tell you about my text from Sunday. I wasn’t even thinking about Valentine's Day or any of that. I got a text from a number I didn’t know that said Happy Valentine’s Day. Be blessed. I had never heard of that number, so I’m sure that message was from God. I can't tell you how much that "mistake message" wasn't a mistake at all, it was a miracle to my week."

She went on to talk about how God is all around in the big and little things. She talked about in the intricacies of thousands of animals, just the animals, God shows His handiwork. And He sends her a note – through an unknown angel – to remind her of His love for her. Then she quoted her favorite verse…the verse that I read just this morning: “His mercies are new every morning, great is His faithfulness.” Lamentations 2:23 "Every morning," she said with joy.

She was just thrilled to share her story with someone who didn’t think she was crazy. I told her that I'm sure I was more thrilled to hear than she was to share! God knew that her heart needed to be reminded of His love. There are no mistakes or coincidences. Whatever the natural world may try and dismiss, her heart heard Him; and He knew that she would receive Him.

God was the operator, connecting that call; I’m sure more for me than for her. God is the ultimate operator making connections in my life day after day; most that I am completely unaware of. The customer service rep. The co-worker. The Facebook “friend.” The parent. The child. The shoe salesman. On and on and on. Connections without even trying, just from living out from under a rock.

That call was 23 minutes long. 3 minutes was spent on me, 20 minutes was blessed on me. I was charged for the texts, $2.30. Each message was of loving conversation between family and friends. But the greatest message came today: a vivid visual of one woman’s heart who couldn't wait to share the message that God Himself sent to her: I LOVE YOU! Her life was broken down, but her heart was full of love. Her voice spoke volumes as her words praised Him.

His reminders are all around if we are willing to seek Him first and let all other things be added to the details of our days. Watch for Him, and He will speak to you. Or even text you. Or email you. Then storyboard you to share His love.

Read His Word. Seek His mercies. Share His love. How do you see Him revealed all around you?

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Piano Prayers

I adore symphonic scores! Like millions over the centuries, nothing moves my heart like music. This week, I attended a small symphony concert featuring piano concertos, much like in the video posted below. Before entering, I asked God for more than just soaking in the sounds; I wanted to encounter Him through those moments of symphonic power. Surely God was here, and I did not want to miss Him (Genesis 28:16). He, of course, desires to reveal Himself in intimacy, majesty, beauty, and power.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfriY1o07rU&feature=related

The pianists were world traveled. The maestro was world renowned. The symphony was world stopping. In this concerto, the piece calls for symphony to silence while the pianist played solos. The conductor turned to face the pianist as he played. He smiled and reveled in the sound! Though was he already knew the piece, he delighted as passion poured from note to rapid fire note. The symphony then resumed and melodic majesty melded in, once more, with the pianist's performance. Sometimes together, sometimes alone, but always creating incredible music.

Then everything changed. I no longer saw the pianist at the bench; I saw me.

The symphony was my life. Each member had a different place, passion, and personality that added to the tapestry of my days. I saw family and friends playing the heartstrings and booming brass. They may not always seem to play in concert and cohesion, but in the end, they come together to create the soundtrack of my life.

In the center was both Composer and Conductor, God Himself. Not a note falls without His direction, and all would be in chaos without His guiding hand. I only play with passion when I only play for Him: no one else. Sometimes my prayers are in concert with the externals of my life, and sometimes He silences the externals to hear my prayers. He looks directly at me, smiles and revels in my voice. I only need to be present to play.

At the end of the piece, the applause was booming with cheers! In some cases, the applause is heard to the ear of the pianist; in some cases the reviews are not heard until they have left the stage (eulogy over encore). Whether those watching over my life respond or not, the conductor listens and responds with joy.

After the piece was over, the conductor reached down and lifted up the pianist to an embrace. Though I know His embrace now, this is more the scene after my final notes are played. He holds me before all of Heaven and Earth and whispers, “Well done.”

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Nations and Neighbors

He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. Luke 10:34

I was reading Beth Moore's notes on Luke 10 last week. Beth took a 2nd look at these infamous travelers from Jerusalem to Jericho. First was a Priest. Next was a Levite. Last was a Samaritan. The thought was that the Priest and the Levite were, probably (though not recorded as so) traveling from Jerusalem and their worship in the temple there. They leave the worship of God to encounter a broken man…and ignore him. Their reasons are irrelevant as the result is irreversible: a man remains broken. The Priest and Levite’s worship was essential to know God; their response to human suffering was essential to make Him known. The rescue comes from a most unlikely source: the least liked is the most loving. Maybe righteousness is more about ripped robes than rehearsed rhetoric.

Here’s the other thing that stood out to me: the Samaritan was just walking the road. He wasn’t on a mission to help a group of suffering people; he wasn’t looking for a bloodied victim; but when he saw one he responded with everything he had. Response was not from religion; response was from his heart. He chose to respond before he arrived at the need.

We are sometimes called to go to where the need is – maybe taking in just a taste of everyday suffering through a mission or relief trip. God calls us to seek and to serve, and lives are forever impacted by obeying His call. At the same time, we are called to respond to the broken lives that surround us everyday. Maybe a smile and hello is the oil and wine needed to bandage a wounded heart; wounds we don’t even know exist. Maybe it’s a little off the top (tithe) that God multiplies in ways that we can’t begin to imagine (respond in faith before the need is in sight). Maybe it’s a cup of coffee or a moment of listening to a hurting friend. Look around on the road.

"Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me." Isaiah 6:8 "Who will go for us?" It is not a question of God singling out a man and saying, "Now, you go." God did not lay a strong compulsion on Isaiah; Isaiah was in the presence of God and he overheard the call, and realized that there was nothing else for him but to say, in conscious freedom, "Here am I, send me." –Oswald Chambers

Here’s what got me: do I even ask what I can do? Do I even muster the courage to ask God “What do YOU want me to do; where do YOU want me to go?” Mostly, no. I respond when the need comes to my attention, but I usually don’t take the initiative to talk with God about my looking for broken people. My focus is distracted, as Martha was, instead of choosing the better, like Mary. Both worship and work are essential - worship first, then the work will follow. Just being in His love causes me to respond in love.

When I feel like "I'm not enough, He reminds me: "That's right, you are not enough, but I am." When I see Him as He is, then He’ll work through me as I am. Once I cast my eyes from my own hands to His holiness, then I see Him, I hear Him, and I'm passionate to serve Him. And so I ask, loving Him and loving others: “Who do you want me to be; what do you want me to do?” And He answers, perfectly.

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Love in Loss

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

I can live without understanding everything. –John Maxwell

Loss is loss. I know of people who have buried the “tents and times” of loved ones this week. When you experience loss yourself, this brings a horrific new perspective to the death toll that goes across a TV screen. Suddenly, it’s not a number, that’s a life. That loss is someone's mother, someone’s father, someone’s sister, someone’s brother. A life is gone; yet multiple lives remain in emotional, mental, and physical suffering of their own. We mourn millions at once; they mourn one in the millions.

I am blind and ignorant, but I can pray. I can pray for the healing of the suffering and the comfort over the mourning; and I trust God to be all. The Spirit speaks according to our faith, not our understanding or our experience. It’s about relationship.

Carry You to Jesus – Steven Curtis Chapman.
I will not pretend to feel the pain you’re going through

I know I cannot comprehend the hurt you’ve known
And I used to think it mattered if I understood...But now I just don’t know
Well, I’ll admit sometimes I still wish I knew what to say and I keep looking for a way to fix it all

But we know we’re at the mercy of God’s higher ways and our ways are so small

But I will carry you to Jesus He is everything you need I will carry you to Jesus on my knees
And if you need to cry go on and I, I will cry along with you
I’ve given you what I have but still I know the best thing I can do is just pray for you

Whether an earthquake wipes out a nation or a car crash crushes a child, each is a loss to someone. Global suffering is reminder to those of us who remain: pray, help, cherish, and love in whatever opportunities we are given. One is no more important than the other; each life, mine included, has its own sufferings and struggles. Where there is suffering, may there be service. Constantly.

Just in the last few minutes: I read of one child suffering from brain cancer and her parents needing sanity and wisdom to save her precious life. I read of one woman who is preparing to be taken over by brain cancer and leaving her family for her Father. One of my own family members is suffering from cancer, and may be gone before Spring. That’s just in the cancer category. I have one friend who is filled with toxins and emptied of finances. I have another friend who is overflowing with grief that is ripping her heart to shreds. I read of a suicide attempt. I read of a slave shipped. There are thousands, one by one, that are without water, food, family, clothes, shelter…in dozens of countries across the globe; including, and not just the one, that is on the news.

How are we to survive under the weight of such suffering? Take it to the only One who can handle all of it. Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Matthew 26:39. He took on all of us for all of time; not just what we decide as “bad things;” He took on every lonliness, every hurt, every heartache, every cry, every pain, every death. Everything. He took on all so that I could give Him all.

Praise Him. Petition Him. Worship Him. Wait on Him. Work with Him. He leads us, not to crush us, but to have us experience Him in the depths of our own hearts to reach into the depths of our neighbors’ lives.

Love is a lifestyle. It’s practiced in the huge and in the tiny moments of life. Faith without works is dead James 2:20. So is love without life. Know love. Show love. You will always live as you truly believe.

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Walk

"And He walks with me and He talks with me; and He tells me I am His own." C. Austin Miles

In less than two months, I will take a trip that will have me walking all over creation (or at least the hometown of the Creator). I really need to get in shape for this. Running in the airport alone may do me in. So I’ll be power-walking over the next couple of months. Of course, it had to be in the winter. Brace up and lace up; here I go!


Stand. New shoes were an absolute must. Walking hurts more than it helps, of course, if I don’t have the right shoes. It’s more than useless, it’s damaging. In prayer, I need the right attitude of the heart. If I don’t walk (or run) to God, Holy and Awesome and Powerful Creator, with the humility of heart and respect of reverence when I stand before Him, them my prayers are not only not heard, they are as damaging as a Pharisee who believes that he is doing the right thing by His choice, not by God’s conviction. (Long sentence; longer conviction). Prideful prayer is a deceptive death.

Start. The hardest thing to do is to actually start, especially in the most undesirable conditions. For me in walking, it’s cold outside. For others in prayer, it’s a hurricane inside. Procrastinating in walking will be a future pain to my feet! Procrastinating in prayer is a present pain to my life. If I can be persuaded to keep silent in my praise and petitions – hour by hour and day by day, I will never know the benefits of God in me. It takes effort and it takes sacrifice, but it’s everything. Then He said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23

Many times we have no idea how to get started in prayer. We have every desire, but no idea. Beth Moore notes, “What to do when you don’t know what to do: Praise God.” First, we are to begin the approach to the King with praise. Then Queen Esther answered, "If I have found favor with you, O king, and if it pleases your majesty, grant me my life—this is my petition." Esther 7:3

Second, we are to begin our battles with praises to God. After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the LORD and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying: "Give thanks to the LORD, for his love endures forever. As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated.” 2 Chronicles 20:21-22

Third, praises to God silences the accuser. Psalm 8:2 “From the lips of children and infants, you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.” If you don’t know how to begin, come as a child. If you don’t know how to come as child, ask God…and in that question, you just began to pray.

God sent reminders along the way. I saw a police car and thanked Him for His constant protection. I saw homes and thanked Him for His constant provision. I felt the wind and asked for His Presence in a friend’s difficult and dark night. “Lord Jesus, be with my friend. Her face is now against the wind. Tears stream down, set her face toward Yours. Wipe away her tears, hold her in your arms.”

Stop not. Part of my goal was to be consistent. I didn’t want to push so much in beginning that I lost momentum on the return. My father simply stated, “Discipline is when you don’t stop.” Prayer is a continual conversation. Prayer is not a grand statement at the beginning of the day, but many conversations throughout the day, both talking to and listening to God.

Oswald Chambers notes:
The measure of the worth of our public activity for God is the private profound communion we have with Him. Rush is wrong every time, there is always plenty of time to worship God. Quiet days with God may be a snare. We have to pitch our tents (live our lives) where we shall always have quiet times with God, however noisy our times with the world may be.

He is more interested in our relationship than our rhetoric. For the One who knows our hearts, He wants us to know His heart. Constantly. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12

Focus. "...but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead," Philippians 3:13. Breath by breath, step by step, I am always looking and walking in one direction or another. May it always be toward Home; always toward Him.

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Wisdom with Wrinkles

...and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. Proverbs 2:3-5

Party: The best Christmas present this year was having my own personal shoppers for a day. I loved it! My sister is looking for bargains. My step-mom is looking for style. I’m only looking pants that fit! Four pairs of pants, three shirts, and one jacket later – I have style again! It was quite the adventure and I adored every minute of it! This Christmas joy was in Tampa, where my sister lives. So, the clothes stayed in their bags for a couple of days before emerging again in my home in West Palm Beach. Which means that ironing was sure to come!

Reality: They looked and felt so perfect in the store. Now, when I try to make them perfectly presentable, the imperfections start to show. A pulled thread here. A loose button there. A mark on the cuff. Why didn’t I see these before? Would I have said “no, thanks” had I known then what I know now? Is it fixable? Should I return it? If hadn’t noticed in the store, maybe no one else would notice on the street?

Then I began to see relationships. They looked and felt so perfect when we first met. There were wrinkles here and there, but the more I tried to make them perfect, the more the imperfections emerged. A ripped heart. A loose past. A stained mind. Why didn’t I see these before? (pride) Would I have turned from the relationship had I known (prejudice)? Should I consider fixing (more pride)? Should I refuse and return (more prejudice)? What will others think of my choice? (pride, pride, pride)?

Then I saw me on the other side of pride: fear that I would be the one rejected for my imperfections, hoping that no one notices. What of those who are allowed close enough to see my imperfections? Common wrinkles are one thing, stains are quite another.

There is wisdom in exercising discernment, but there is devastation in exercising pride and prejudice. Especially against ourselves. How then shall we live? Pray for said discernment: first in ourselves and also in others. Everyone has loose threads, and some have fabrics that are completely unraveling. All need to be brought to God – however closely we are knit together. Some are to be kept (in the light of God’s Truth), some are to be tossed (in cases of abuse). God will lead us from there…always as the only One who is worthy of smoothing out the wrinkles (which will always return for perfection's pressing).

By the way, the clothes (and the relationships) are off the ironing board and worn well! And…I think I’ll ask for “personal shopper day” as a new tradition!

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Box Broken

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, and he will make your paths straight." Prov. 3:5-6

My move is to trust with all of my heart. Then He makes my path straight. Three components: Trust God alone. All of my heart. He straightens. I don't straighten my path, ever. He does. I trust, He straightens. Oh, how I live days upon days trying instead of trusting.

Last week I received this text from a frustrated friend: "I wish that he would just share life and not try to be someone in a non-reality existence that he's created in his head." Exchanging his greatest desire for relationship for the fantasy of perfection that never exists. He lives isolated, but safe.

I can relate. I struggle with trying to construct how I am supposed to live my life, especially in relationships, and I miss the more simple bliss of just sharing life.

In an answered prayer to the Spirit's cry, God moved the conversation from my head to my heart. My Love leaned over and said to me, "Baby, why are you constantly trying to create perfection in your mind and control in your life, knowing that it'll all fail? Just share life with Me; that's all I really want." From there, I can truly share life with others.

One of my continual struggles is with the Pharisee within. As Beth Moore notes, "My head already knows all that...tell it to my heart." My deepest desire is to BE Mary of Bethany - sometimes quietly at His feet soaking in His Word. Sometimes to smash my alabaster box of life so my sweet dreams can touch Him. Just to really share the constant, beautiful and dirty details of life. The tears, the laughter, the raw honesty of words and worship.

I do not study His Word to try and better my life or even to live a life that pleases Him. I study His Word to know Him intimately; to know how to share all that I am with all that He is. Even after all this time, it remains a daily struggle of control...and He will keep me in that struggle until I let go of everything that holds me from holding Him. Constantly. Someone wrote, "When the illusion of control disappears we become men and women of prayer." Illusion vanish into intimacy. John Maxwell said, "The best thing is to be totally lost, only then can you be totally found." Who will lose one's life, will find it in Him (Matthew 16:25). Lost and found am I.

"Without faith, it is impossible (never going to happen) to please God." Hebrews 11:6. Day in and day out, I try to please God by leaning on my own my own understanding. There is no faith. There is no truth. There is no trust. There is no love. There is no heart. There is no peace, no joy, no passion, no relationship. I create in my mind that there is all of these things and I look to live up to them. Please understand that all of these already exist to the fullest measure in my heart, but not in my life because I allow my "head" to cloud my heart and all that is within.

Pharisee. Perfection. Delusion. Waste. I am filled with the union of the Creator and Christ of all that is, yet missing true Holiness that infiltrates every detail of my human life. Pea-brain intellect against Infinite Wisdom. All over my own stubborn control craving. The loss is mine alone. The choice is mine.

Love. Passion. Joy. Grace. Purity. Satisfaction. Completion. All that I am given breath and heartbeat to know moment by moment. Everything I've always wanted is here now.

I have so much to learn face down on the floor. As I find love, I share life. Natural a breathing. "One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple." Psalm 27:4

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Call Waiting

“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know” Jeremiah 33:3

I received a new phone yesterday. It’s a HUGE improvement over the duct taped “dinosaur” I've been destroying lately. I had just about succeeded in the dinosaur's demise when the new one came in. Perfect timing.

The same day I received my new mode of communication, I received a moment of revelation. What dinosaur of discipline has carried my communication with God lately? Oh, how I’ve tried to destroy it with distractions and tried to hold it together with righteous rags. What am I holding on to, especially when a better deal is free? Perfect.

Part of my prayer is my confession of time wasted in selfishness, static, and silence when it comes to my conversations with Christ. Those are all legalistic symptoms of lacking passion. I look at the prayer phone and see some great stuff: applications that I read about in the manual and I have loaded into my life; but I they aren't fully integrated into my heart drive. I excuse them before I use them. Apps like Prayer over Desperate Needs, Studying His Word, Reading Writings of Saints, Giving of Treasures, Serving of Time, etc. Though freely available, they come with a personal cost of time and attention. They are wonderful apps that enhance my life, so what’s so hard about pressing them into my heart and letting them transform my life as I really desire?

Ah, text. Writing - how much time do I spend writing others and waiting on their responses? How much do I write to Jesus and wait on His response? It's not a comparison, but a conviction of passion and priority.

Above all, there’s the “call” feature. “Call” is the most accessible and least accessed. Something from within me, not the background noise, is creating static and silence in my call.

Over and over I review my need to use the amazing power within my little prayer phone. I spend more time talking about my missed calls, rather than just making the calls. The line is open. Call now. Praise, petition, post a status of heart and mind. Just call.

Today I consistently minimize all that is blocking my call. Today I call to Him before I apply to me. Today I hear His Voice in perfect clarity. Wisdom. Love. Joy. Hope. All.

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

Worship and Wait

Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. Job 2:13

His family all tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. Genesis 37:35

One of our severest lessons comes from the stubborn refusal to see that we must not interfere in other people's lives. – Oswald Chambers

"Watching a friend's emotional crises behind a wall of silence is like watching a hurricane through a floor to ceiling window." – mlp

My friend said, “When my heart and mind return to me, then we’ll talk again.” Months gone by; months to come. There's is always a crisis, a weariness, a storm, a circumstance, and a hope - but not an arrival. I'm not holding my breath, just holding a heart.

Some storms can only be experienced alone, whoever is standing at our side. It doesn’t mean that we ARE alone, it only means that we feel that way, and there is no one who can comfort us. Nothing is more frustrating than feeling helpless.

Nowhere is there greater faith than one who believes the unseen God in the blinding storm: He has our complete hearts, our minds, our beliefs, our words, our service, and our prayers. We wait, wondering if time and eternity have finally come to be one in the same. We wait in one of two states: walking in helplessness of what we see or hopefulness of Who we know.

Job 1:20 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship. Humanity mourned; then moved to Holiness. If the one man most known for suffering immediately begins to worship, then how much more can I learn to face a crisis facing the Face of Comfort?

For the family or friends standing by, we are desperate to speak silence over the suffering, but it is us who needs to listen in silence to the only One Who Is. He can only speak through me when I hear Him speak to me. Waiting in the pouring pain, we are not there to change the circumstance so suffering is stopped; often we are to be there just to be there. We are there to listen and hold. We are there to watch and pray. We are there to worship and to praise. Circumstances do not change God; but praise and worship changes our perspective of God.

I find myself praying for a change in circumstances, without praying for a change in me. I find myself asking for the words to say, instead of listening to the Word speak. I find myself looking to be the one who comforts, instead of simply looking to the One of Comfort. I find myself listing the immediate proposals instead of trusting His intimate promises. He doesn’t look to bandage us with answers, He looks to bind us in His arms.

Hope is not answered questions; Hope is Christ Himself revealed in the intimate moments of our lives. Those may be healings, those maybe restorations, those maybe relationships, those maybe anything that the Father and His Child are to endure and experience together, but those are always to His glory alone.

In the cases of Jacob and Job (both who worshipped in their waiting), El Shaddai restored their lost dreams into living realities. With sights shifting from earthly children to Eternal Father, God glorified Himself, then restored their lives beyond their deepest hopes and dreams.

In human silence there is only Holy Sovereignty. Ask your deepest desires while delighting in Him. Not holding my breath, just holding His heart.

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com

His

Set your affections on things above, not on things of this earth. Colossians 3:2

I have a friend who has three cats...and a husband who is severely allergic to cats. The fact that he cannot breathe has finally brought her to consider giving away one of the cats (yes, only one). There is deep affection for the felines, to say the least. A family observer noted:

“I’m afraid that she holds onto the cats, literally, as her affection; affection that she should be giving her husband. In the meantime, she robs both her and her husband of true affection.”

Then Jesus asked me: “Who are you holding to, literally, as your source of affection; affection that should be Mine. In the meantime, you are robbing both Me and you of true affection.”

The King now has my complete attention.

He is not abstract. He is not a fantasy. He is not a dream. He is mine and I am His. He is my affection and I am His. He is my desire and I am His. He is my love and I am His. He is my Covenant and I am His.

He is a jealous God; am I jealous girl? (Joshua 24:19) Do I guard my heart from anything that robs me of His incredible love song and tender hold? Do I remember His intimate love that is closer than every breath I breathe?

He places people, creation, delights and desires as reminders and reflections of His affections in my life; never as replacements, never as robbers, never as idols – even for a moment. He is a God who blesses and lives to delight my life with gifts from His hand, but He is a jealous God who will crush idols that keep me from Him. He was crushed, so that they are crushed. He’s that serious about it.

These are not light words, these are words of death and life, love and ecstasy, passion and desire. All of this, done by Him, so that an entirely new life of Reality could me mine: love and affection that never stops, never sleeps, always holds, always sings, always delights and desires…me. The choice is always mine, at every moment. How much I rob MYSELF from when I seek any other; how much I rob my Love, when I turn my eyes to gaze from His face. All because I do not believe a moment I cannot see? Do you know such loss? Do you know such love?

“He will tell you what He needs from you. Beyond what He needs, all He wants is for you to embrace Him and talk to Him.” – Beth Moore, Jesus the One and Only, a fictional account of Elizabeth’s advice to her cousin and mother of her Lord, Mary.

Unveiled. Unraveled. Known. Loved.

Enjoy Him, Michelle
mlpack1@yahoo.com